Take a Better Passport Photo

If Tyra Bank’s “Smize” tip makes you look less like an international model and more like you’ve just murdered a family of four in their country home, this post is for you.

Passport photos are important. A good passport photo will make you look like a worldly traveler. It will make TSA agents want to sweep you off your feet and into the airport Cinnabon. It will increase your potential of being “discovered” by a talent scout at the baggage claim.

And a bad passport photo will ensure that border patrol continuously laughs at you for the next ten years.

Models have been shared their best tips for getting the perfect snapshot since the advent of Marie Claire magazine, but what’s a girl to do if she just can’t justify contouring with $45 bronzer or using up an entire container of blotting papers?

Know Your Angles

If tilting your head up at a 15 degree angle makes you look less like a potato, then tilt. If turning your chin a fraction of an inch to the left makes your double-chin disappear, by all means, turn. If folding all the way forward and covering your face with a curtain of hair is what really does it for you, well… that’s too bad, because that violates all of the US Department of State passport photo guidelines.

Know Your Audience

Keep in mind that the teenager doubling as CVS cashier/passport photo photographer is more likely than the grumpy woman at the post office to understand your request to “make this look like it was taken with that pretty snapchat filter!” 

Both are equally like to grant you a second try if you threaten to staple dead birds to their car.

Bring Your Own Wind

Every supermodel knows that the secret to a perfect snapshot is a gale force wind strong enough to knock your eyebrows off. Use a combination of blackmail and bribery until the photographer agrees to let you use the industrial box fan you brought with you.

Put a Dog in Your Photo

It has been scientifically proven that dogs will improve any photo. This is very much against regulation, so your passport application will 100% be denied, but you should definitely recycle that photo for your Tinder profile.

Drink the Blood of Your Enemies

This is supposed to restore vitality and youthfulness to your skin, but is only really a viable option if you have planned 4-6 weeks in advance.

 

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