I’ve hitched myself to many a bandwagon.
Because I tend to be a very all-or-nothing person, I've thrown myself into quite a few “phases;" and since I don't think my family should get to have all the fun bringing these up at Thanksgiving dinner, I want to share the most embarrassing ones with you.
While the rest of the kids were jamming out to Backstreet Boys and N'Sync, I experimented with an eclectic mix of music. These will either make me seem much more self-aware and hipster, or it will help you realize that I spent my childhood as a weird outcast.
These are only some of the most prominent embarrassing musical influences in my life, in what I hope is chronological order:
B-52’s: Like any child of the late 70’s (which I am not,) I found myself intrigued by the new wave rock & roll stylings of the B-52’s. I found my dad’s Cosmic Thing cassette tape and listened to the whole thing every day for half of third grade.
Knowing all the words to Love Shack and Rock Lobster has served me well in karaoke situations later in life.
A-Teens: Instead of getting into normal pop like every other elementary schooler, I fell in love with the Swedish pop child of ABBA. (We can probably blame the Danish kids across the street for this one.)
I’d fight with my sister over who got to “be” the blonde singer and which one of us got to “date” which of the two guys in the band. I wish I remembered the weird choreographed dance to “Firefly” that my neighbor and I regularly performed.
VH1: I would wake up at 5 AM and sit in the dark on my couch watching music videos before school. For some reason, I only remember watching two videos over and over and over again: “Breaking the Habit” by Linkin Park and “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” by Jet.
This phase ended when I realized I could watch Full House reruns instead.
Billy Joel: This may not count as a phase, because I still listen to Mr. Joel religiously. But in sixth grade I bought the “Greatest Hits” album from Target and listened to it all the way through multiple times. I will play "Uptown Girl" at my wedding.
Ashlee Simpson/Ryan Cabrera: Who among us didn’t fall for the young love story between Ashlee and Ryan? Ashlee was the punk underdog that I needed in my life, and Ryan Cabrera was my favorite human porcupine.
This phase coincided with a brief foray into the clearance section of Hot Topic and a weak attempt to pull off hoop earrings. This phase died when Ashlee started dating Pete Wentz, so I naturally moved on to…
Fall Out Boy: Honestly, I think I only listened to them because my friends did. But when I commit, I commit.
I started a whole notebook full of weird middle-school fan fiction about my middle school friends and I dating the members of the band. I pray every day that nobody finds that notebook.
Paris Hilton: I watched the music video where she makes over the nerdy boy next door, like, 6,000 times in a row. I was in eighth grade, and I have no explanation, really.
Josh Groban: Ah, freshman year of high school. Mostly, I listened to "You Raise Me Up" and cried along to sad sounding Italian lyrics. I was too young to celebrate Josh Groban as he's meant to be celebrated - with a bottle of wine and surrounded by 50-year-old divorcees.
Nightwish: The only Finnish symphonic metal band I’ve ever loved. If you ever want to feel like the hero of a fantasy movie, I suggest it. I listened to Amaranth until I started having vivid dreams that I was in Lord of the Rings, and then I recognized it as an unhealthy habit that needed to stop.
Tune in tomorrow for embarrassing fashion! And follow me at Girl, Interrupting on Facebook for more funny business.