Laura

Me, My Dad, and Jeb Bush

Laura
Me, My Dad, and Jeb Bush

I have a get-rich-quick plan, but it is completely contingent upon the Republican party rising to power. (So it looks like I’m in the same speedboat as the 1%.) My dad bears a striking resemblance to former Governor Jeb Bush. 

We’ve already discussed how I feel about a good doppelganger, right?

While I don't care much for Mr. Bush's political interests, I fully support him as a candidate for the Presidency. Think about the potential here!

Should he remain a front-runner for the GOP, I have a window of opportunity for exploiting our family photo albums for cold hard cash. I can sell photos to the liberal media of "Jeb Bush and His Secret Second Family," and "Jeb Bush checking his private AOL email!!"

Is Jeb Bush hiding three secret children?
Is Jeb Bush hiding three secret children?

In fact, I can sell photos to the media of both extremes! Fox News will pay through the nose for “Jeb Bush mows the lawn - He’s just like the rest of us!” and “Jeb Bush pumps his own gas.”

Even better - Imagine if he won! Four whole years of my Dad yelling at me for photographing his every waking moment. 

A vote for Jeb Bush is a vote for my Dad.

Jeb Bush falls asleep at Ruth Bader Ginsberg's dinner party
Jeb Bush falls asleep at Ruth Bader Ginsberg's dinner party
Jeb Bush escapes to Canada - caught canoodling with unidentified woman. (Rare llama also pictured.) 

Jeb Bush escapes to Canada - caught canoodling with unidentified woman. (Rare llama also pictured.)