Beaches. Sunkissed skin and tan lines. A popsicle melting all over your hand. Burning the soles of your feet on the hot asphalt. Boiling to death in nature’s sauna. Here are ten reasons why Winter is obviously better than Summer.
10. Cold Weather Fashion
If you think a flip flop looks better than a leather boot, you’re deluded. In Winter, you can make use of layering, scarves, and lots of sweaters. We can all feign some semblance of fashion sense in the colder months. (In fact, it’s gotten to the point where I just wear my Winter wardrobe all year long. Black sweaters in summer aren’t ideal, but that’s what air conditioning was invented for, right?)
9. Outfit Repeating
Along those same lines - in Winter, we can re-wear something without looking or smelling like a hobo. A simple change of scarf is enough to keep suspicions low if you’re rocking the same sweater two days in a row. Even better - slap a coat on over the whole thing and nobody will know!
8. Hot Chocolate
Yeah, yeah, smoothies, ok, yeah. But can liquified fruit really compete with a beverage composed entirely of chocolate and marshmallow?!
7. Christmas Music
I listen to Christmas music starting in March, so I guess I’m a unique case here. But even so, I recognize that it’s not socially acceptable and I limit myself to jamming out to Bing Crosby on my headphones. In Winter, it’s totally okay to blast Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in public - and that’s beautiful.
6. Coming In From the Cold
Being sweaty is terrible. And cooling off from being sweaty is… average, at best. But coming in from cold wind or snow is glorious! Putting warm pajama pants onto cold skin is better than a hug from your mom. Wrapping yourself up in a blanket is the most comfortable thing that the human race will ever know. Bonus points if there’s a fire to sit by.
5. No Pressure to Go to the Beach
Which one of you decided the beach was fun? It’s not.
It’s crowded. It’s hot. You’re floating around in lukewarm water with 800 other people, probably a shark, and lots of pollution. There’s sand in your shorts. There’s sand in your hair. There’s sand in your food. There’s a seagull trying to take your sandy food.
Winter food is hearty. We get to eat a lot of stews and soups and casseroles. There’s usually some cheesecake involved.
In Summer, we’re supposed to eat salads so we can fit into our short shorts. (But the ice cream truck will still drive aggressively up and down the block during the entire month of July to tempt you.)
3. Tis' the Season of Staying In!
Winter is the Season of the Introvert. You can’t go to the gym in the morning if there’s a blizzard. Nobody blinks if you announce that you stayed in and watched Netflix under a blanket on a snowy weekend.
Do this in the summer, and suddenly everyone is concerned that you’re depressed.
Not shaving your legs from October to March. Let’s hear it for pants!!
1. You Don’t Have to Sweat It
Summer is HOT. If you walk to the mailbox, you get sweaty. If you think about walking to the mailbox, you get sweaty. Sometimes, if you don’t sit perfectly still, you get sweaty.
You have no choice but to unstick your thighs from your leather car seats or your couch and pray that there’s air conditioning on full blast wherever you’re going.
And even when you pray for the sweet release of sleep to take you, you wake up at 3 AM sweating in your sheets.
And One Reason Why Summer is OKAY…
1. The Olympics
The Winter Olympics are garbage. Figure skating is fun, and the Jamaican Bobsled team is always a good time, but there’s a reason 4.5 billion more people tune in for the Summer Olympics.
You can have this ONE thing, Summer.
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